Embracing the Whole Person: We Cannot Pick and Choose Traits Like Shopping at a Grocery Store

🛒🐉 Just as we cannot expect a dragon to change its scales or its unique breath on command, we cannot pick and choose the traits we want from the people around us, like shopping for ingredients in a grocery store.

People are whole beings with a unique blend of strengths, quirks, and complexities that make them who they are. We can't select only the parts that suit us or discard those we find challenging.

Think about someone you admire for their creativity and spontaneity - perhaps a friend who is always up for a new adventure and fills your life with excitement. Those same traits might also mean they are forgetful or struggle to plan ahead, leaving you to handle the details or feel frustrated by last-minute changes. The very qualities that make them vibrant and engaging might also bring moments of chaos.

Or consider a colleague who is incredibly detail-oriented and meticulous in their work, ensuring every project is perfect. You might love their dedication and precision, but that same attention to detail could mean they are slow to make decisions or resistant to change, which can feel like a roadblock when you’re eager to move forward quickly.

💚 These examples show that the traits we love about someone often come hand-in-hand with traits that challenge us. The spontaneity we adore may come with unpredictability; the thoroughness we respect might come with hesitation. True connection and growth come from recognizing that these qualities cannot be separated - they are all part of the same person.

I see this in my own life, too. When dating, I used to ask, "What would you change about me?" It was a way to see how well someone could embrace all parts of who I am. I knew I had found the right one when they answered, “I love the entire you. You are a complete package, and I wouldn’t want to risk losing the package by picking out different parts.” But it wasn’t just “the one” who answered this way - anyone who responded with a genuine acceptance of who I am made me want to invest more time in getting to know them.

🔥🔥🔥🐉 When we try to pick and choose which traits we like and ignore the rest, we risk losing out on the richness that diversity brings. The very traits that might frustrate us can also be the ones that hold the greatest potential for learning and growth. Embracing the whole person means accepting their strengths and their weaknesses, their talents and their flaws, knowing that it’s all part of the unique tapestry that makes them who they are.

❤️‍🔥 So, let’s commit to honoring each person as a whole being. Instead of trying to curate people’s traits to fit our needs, let’s recognize the beauty in their entirety. When we do, we create environments where everyone feels accepted and valued for exactly who they are.

Have you ever found yourself wishing you could change a trait in someone close to you?

How did you navigate that, and what did you learn from embracing them as they are?

Share your story, and let’s celebrate the wholeness of every person!