As an Enneagram 1 - the Reformer - living with abandonment, subjugation, and unrelenting standards, my path has been anything but straightforward.
I was a born leader: early life traumas, being adopted, and a survivor; I was optimistic, courageous, resilient, and the oldest of three!
I lived in dreams that I knew deep down could become our realities.
Seeing all the possibilities in the world around me, I was passionate and driven. I often took the lead and was frequently told I was bossy as a child, a label I hated. My subjugation dragon often won the battles in my room --> I resigned from trying, finding it better to support from behind.
Yet, the leader within me never faded, and I was often recognized and asked to take on leadership roles.
In my early thirties, I stepped into a management role long before I understood my core personality or acknowledged the dragons in my room.
AND I was ineffective, leaning on directive styles learned from authoritative role models, and often doing the work myself (unrelenting standards dragon at play!). This led to a strong dislike for leadership. I said, "I don't want to babysit." I am a horrible manager!
Years later, I embraced leadership anew, this time with more life experience and a better knowledge of self.
As a people-centric and creative individual, I naturally gravitated towards servant, democratic, and visionary leadership styles.
Younger, open-minded teams thrived under my leadership. However, I soon realized that not all teams responded the same way: more experienced and set-in-way teams and conflict situations posed challenges for me.
Determined to improve, I embarked on an intensive learning journey over a couple of years, diving into leadership courses, theories and methodologies, coaching, and self-actualization.
Here are some of my biggest learnings:
1 - Core Power: Your core power lies within your authentic self, beneath behaviors, convictions, and values.
2 - Tame Your Dragons: Learn to recognize, love, and tame your dragons.
3 - Self-Actualization: Learn to self-actualize and differentiate.
4 - Coaching Practices: Coaching helps get to the core of motivation in others.
5 - Empowerment Over Expertise: Let go of being the expert and empower your team members.
6 - Adaptability: Adapt your communication and leadership style to the situation, team, and individual. (This is the secret to really leveling up as a leader!)
7 - Integrity and Accountability: Always act with integrity, take accountability, be reliable, and set boundaries.
8 - Transparency and Confidentiality: Be transparent while maintaining confidence.
Inspiring Through Authenticity
Leadership is about inspiring and empowering others to reach a united goal. It's about understanding that people fear losing their autonomy, not change itself. As leaders, we must inspire like the sun, gently encouraging growth rather than forcefully demanding it.
Stay true to who YOU are.
Embrace the talents YOU have (and grow them!)
Adapt to the needs of YOUR TEAMS while stepping up and empowering THEM forward on a journey toward dreams!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
I hope it resonates with those of you on your own leadership journey.
Let's continue to learn, grow, and lead with authenticity and empathy.
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