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Writer's pictureSarah Gruneisen

How leaders can shape team members without wearing a therapist hat? šŸ‰

Daniel Lock posed a valuable question: "How can leaders and managers influence for the better, acknowledging the intricate life traps that shape individuals, without overstepping into the therapist's domain?"


Your point is crucial, Daniel. As leaders, it's a fine balance. Here's my perspective:


šŸ’š Empathy First:

Our foremost duty is to cultivate empathy. Every individual deserves to be heard, seen, and respected.


When we lead with empathy, we create an environment where all values are honored and upheld.


Consider someone grappling with the 'Abandonment' lifetrap. They might have underlying fears of being left behind or not being considered.


As leaders, by ensuring they're part of decision-making or checking in on their thoughts during meetings, we make them feel seen and valued.


šŸ”„ Look Beneath the Surface:

People's reactions are often the tip of an iceberg. It's essential to realize that there's an underlying story, a deeper context to each reaction.


It's not about trying to dissect or analyze it, but about acknowledging its existence.

Someone with the 'Subjugation' lifetrap might constantly put others' needs before theirs, often to their own detriment.


Recognizing this, a leader can encourage them to voice their opinions, ensuring they know their thoughts are valued.


ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„ Reflect Inwardly:

A vital aspect of leadership is understanding our own reactions and biases. We're not here to change others but to change and better ourselves.


By being self-aware, we can approach situations without preconceived notions, facilitating genuine connections and understanding.


If a leader finds themselves frustrated with an employee who seems hesitant to take on responsibilities, they might be dealing with the 'Failure' lifetrap.


Instead of reacting, introspect. Maybe the leader's own 'Unrelenting Standards' lifetrap is triggering this response.


By being self-aware, we can approach such situations with understanding rather than judgment.


In essence, leadership isn't about having all the answers or wearing a therapist's hat. Itā€™s about recognizing, respecting, and reacting with empathy and self-awareness.


It's a journey of continuous introspection, growth, and connection.


By being attuned to these life traps, both in ourselves and in our teams, we can foster genuine connections and understanding.

Thank you, Daniel, for sparking this essential conversation! šŸ²


PS. This is me and my daughter yesterday on the Eurotrain heading to Brighton! The train was surprisingly so fast. Next two days are Novoda strategy days! Looking forward!




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