Navigating Phone Communication: From Childhood Challenges to Leadership Adaptations

🥚☎️ Our family didn’t have a phone growing up (a time when mobile phones didn’t yet exist). Our family was poor, and I remember not understanding why my friends’ homes had phones and not mine. I would try to explain to my mom how hard it would be to make playdates with friends without the ability to call each other. I begged for a phone.

🔥🔥🐉 She would tell me that I could arrange a playdate the day before school. Since it’s quite difficult for children to plan a day in advance, I rarely played with friends outside of school.

❤️‍🔥 Finally, when I was 16, I worked full-time at the local grocery store. I saved up my money and bought our family a phone. Problem solved?

Not quite. My mom hated when creditors would call and ask us to answer the phone for her —> I learned to hate the phone.

In my professional life, this discomfort with phone communication persisted. I found phone calls to be intrusive and anxiety-inducing, preferring written communication where I could process information at my own pace. This preference often led to misunderstandings, as phone calls are a common expectation in many workplaces.

💎 On top of that, I value giving my full attention to those I’m presently with. Being abruptly pulled away to appease someone demanding immediate attention goes against my values. It disrupts my sense of connection and feels invasive.

Additionally, I dislike speaking when others can overhear; it feels unsafe, turning what should be a private exchange into a public one. I’m also aware it can be disruptive for those nearby who only hear one side of the conversation, making it intrusive to their experience.

So, this “neurodivergent challenge” is likely a mixture of things going on. I tried hard several times to push past my aversion to phones, but it never worked.

Reading Chapter 3 of Atypical was a revelation. The author described experiences with phone communication that mirrored my own, making me feel seen and understood. This insight empowered me to implement strategies to manage this challenge effectively.

As a leader, I recognized the need to address this challenge. I implemented strategies such as scheduling calls in advance, using video conferencing to incorporate visual cues, and employing a phone answering service to manage unexpected calls. These adaptations not only reduced my anxiety but also improved my communication effectiveness.

This journey taught me the importance of creating inclusive communication environments. By acknowledging and accommodating diverse communication preferences, we can foster a more inclusive and productive workplace.

Dragon Wisdom: “Embracing diverse communication styles enriches our connections. By honoring individual preferences, we foster environments where everyone can thrive.”

To support individuals with similar experiences:

💚 Offer Alternatives: Provide options like email or video calls to accommodate different preferences.

💚 Schedule Calls: Plan calls in advance to allow preparation time.

💚 Be Patient: Some may need extra time to process information during calls.

These practices benefit everyone by promoting clarity and reducing misunderstandings.

Whether stemming from trauma or neurodiversity, the source of communication challenges is less important than the strategies we employ to address them. By focusing on solutions, we can create environments where everyone feels valued and understood.

💎💎💎

Caveat: Neurodiversity exists on a spectrum; no two experiences are the same. I am sharing my journey, but it’s important to remember that others may have different experiences.

Additionally, my story is shaped not only by neurodiversity but also by childhood trauma, which can make it challenging to differentiate between the causes of certain symptoms. This is my truth, but it may not reflect the experience of others.