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Writer's pictureSarah Gruneisen

Neurodivergence and Gender

When it comes to neurodivergence, one thing is clear - the boxes we’ve used for centuries to define gendersimply don’t work. Both neurodivergence and gender are complex, fluid, and often overlap in ways that don’t fit the narrow, traditional molds society has imposed.


Neurodivergent individuals are challenging these boxes and showing us that identity is far more nuanced than binary categories.


🔥🐉 How Gender Influences Diagnosis


One key reason why these gender boxes fail is the way gender influences diagnosis. For decades, neurodivergence - particularly autism and ADHD - was mostly recognized in boys.


Boys with these traits often show externalizing behaviors like hyperactivity or meltdowns, making it easier for teachers or parents to spot and seek a diagnosis. Meanwhile, girls are more likely to internalize these traits, manifesting in daydreaming, anxiety, or perfectionism, leading to delayed or missed diagnoses.


Gender norms taught girls to mask their symptoms, making them invisible. Many women and girls only receive a diagnosis in adulthood, after years of struggling silently. These experiences demonstrate that the rigid expectations of what “male” and “female” should look like don’t account for the full spectrum of human experience.


🔥🐉 Gender Diversity in Neurodivergence


In addition to the missed diagnoses in cisgender women, we’re also seeing how gender-diverse individuals (non-binary, genderfluid, trans) often fall through the cracks. Research suggests that autism and ADHD are more common among gender-diverse individuals, though the reasons are still being studied.


Neurodivergent people frequently report a disconnect between the way they experience the world and society’s rigid expectations - including those around gender.


This disconnect may explain why many neurodivergent people find themselves challenging gender norms or exploring their gender identity in ways that don’t fit neatly into “male” or “female” boxes.


For example, someone with autism may not feel the need to conform to gendered social cues and expectations, giving them the freedom to express themselves more authentically.


🔥🐉 Gender Boxes Don’t Work


The idea that there are two fixed categories - male and female - has always been limiting. But for neurodivergent individuals, those boxes are even more restrictive.


Whether it’s girls being diagnosed later because their symptoms don’t fit the “male” model of ADHD, or gender-diverse individuals being misunderstood because their neurodivergence doesn’t conform to expected gender norms, it’s clear that these boxes do more harm than good.


🔥🐉 Breaking Free of Gender Norms


As we embrace neurodiversity, it’s time to also embrace gender diversity. Both are expressions of the rich, varied ways people move through the world.


Whether you’re cisgender, non-binary, trans, or exploring your gender identity, neurodivergence gives us a powerful lens to understand how rigid labels fail to account for the complexity of who we are.


🔥🐉 Dragon Wisdom: Let’s Trust People to Define Themselves


In the same way that we trust people to understand and articulate their own neurodivergent experiences, we need to trust people to define their gender identities on their own terms.


Gender, like neurodivergence, is a spectrum - full of nuance, fluidity, and diversity. By breaking out of these boxes, we can create a world where everyone feels free to be their authentic self, regardless of whether they fit the rigid expectations society has set.



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