❤️🔥 What if feedback wasn’t about criticism, but about shared values and thriving together?
I believe feedback is always rooted in values: what we or our team needs to thrive, and something that might be missing. It’s given through the lens of the giver’s experience, shaped by their observations and perspective. Feedback can feel empowering when approached with intentionality and care.
Here’s how feedback becomes a tool for growth, not fear:
💚 Anchor feedback in values (what is needed to thrive).
Good feedback isn’t just about actions; it’s about the values that drive a team, an organization, or the giver themselves. It defines and protects boundaries while leaving space for collaboration.
👉 “I value reliability. I need to feel I can rely on you in order to function and thrive.”
💚 Use the lens of non-violent communication.
Feedback feels safer when it’s delivered with generosity and respect. Share observations, ask for what is needed, and give the receiver space to exist in the conversation. Their values, needs, and ideas are equally important.
👉 “When we arrange a meeting together, I make big efforts to show up on time, sometimes leaving a place I’m enjoying. The last two weeks we arranged [X] meetings, and you arrived 20 minutes late each time. I felt undervalued and disrespected.”
💚 Avoid assumptions and labels.
Effective feedback allows the receiver to feel seen, not judged. Avoid assuming feelings, intentions, or labeling behavior. Instead, approach with curiosity and open-mindedness.
👉 “I’m curious, how do you see it?”
👉 “You planned these meetings at a time I need to bring my kid to school. I try so hard to rush them, and I feel so stressed. I don’t want you to feel disrespected. I really do value you so much.”
💚 Be flexible and curious about solutions.
Feedback isn’t about dictating; it’s about exploring. Stay open to different ideas while ensuring values remain at the center of the conversation.
👉 “What do you think we can do so I can feel I can rely on your word, and you can still be there for your family? Shall we agree on making appointments we’re both sure to make?”
💚 Turn tips into collaboration.
When offering tips, remember they are based on your experience. Create room for the receiver’s unique perspective to enrich the solution, rather than pushing a single approach.
👉 “I’d love the ability to let you know before the meeting when things unexpectedly go awry; like when my child has a rough morning. It would mean a lot if we could work together flexibly to replan or adjust.”
👉 “Okay, let’s try that. It helps me to know you’ll let me know beforehand and that you’re really trying. I’ll work on being more flexible too. I truly value our collaboration.”
❤️🔥💚🔥🔥🔥🐉
Good feedback, like a dragon’s breath, is powerful when controlled and purposeful. It creates, strengthens, and inspires, rather than destroys.
💬 What’s one approach you’ve found helpful when giving or receiving feedback? Let’s exchange ideas to make feedback a thriving experience for all.
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